Protecting Yourself from Digital Abuse
Protecting Yourself from Digital Abuse
Domestic abuse is ultimately about power and control — and in our digital age, that control increasingly extends into digital abuse via technology. Phones, computers, smart devices, and online accounts can all be used to monitor, manipulate, or intimidate someone. Domestic abuse can affect anyone, irrespective of age, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, religion, social or health status.
Survivors are never to blame for an abuser’s actions, yet understanding how technology can be misused is a vital step towards regaining independence and personal security. This guide outlines practical ways to protect yourself digitally, reclaim privacy, and maintain safe communication.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 999.
For confidential advice and support in the UK, contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge) on 0808 2000 247, available 24 hours a day. For advice and support tailored for male survivors visit Respect You can also reach Women’s Aid via chat.womensaid.org.uk.
Before You Continue
If you think someone might be monitoring your computer or phone, try to view this page on a device they cannot access — for instance, a computer at the library or a trusted friend’s phone. You can also open this page in a browser’s private or incognito mode to minimise stored traces of your browsing.
Why Digital Security Matters in Domestic Abuse Situations
Technology plays an enormous role in our lives — from staying in touch and managing money to running our homes. But that same connectivity can be exploited. Abusers may use technology to track movements, access private accounts, or eavesdrop on communications – this is digital abuse.
In domestic abuse cases, the risk is heightened because abusers often have physical access to devices, shared Wi-Fi, or account details. What most people take for granted — that their phone or laptop hasn’t been tampered with — may not be a safe assumption for survivors.
Taking steps to secure your devices and accounts is therefore not just about privacy. It’s about restoring control and autonomy over your digital life.
Who This Guide Can Help
You may find this guide useful if you:
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Are experiencing technology-enabled abuse or stalking.
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Suspect your phone or computer is being monitored.
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Need safer ways to communicate privately.
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Are supporting someone in a similar situation.
This guide complements other domestic abuse resources by focusing specifically on digital and information security.
Regaining Trust in Your Devices
To use technology safely, you need to know your devices are not compromised. This includes phones, laptops, smart home gadgets, and even vehicles.
Signs your device may be tampered with:
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It behaves unusually — battery drains quickly, settings change unexpectedly, or new apps appear.
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It was out of your possession for a period of time.
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The abuser discourages you from using other devices.
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They appear to know details they shouldn’t — such as your private messages or whereabouts.
Restoring Your Phone’s Security
If your phone was set up by someone else, or if your partner had access to it, consider restoring it to factory settings. This removes most tracking apps or “stalkerware.”
Once reset, create a strong passcode — avoid using facial or fingerprint recognition that someone could exploit while you’re asleep. Turn on encryption where available. This ensures that even if the phone is lost, its data cannot be accessed without your code.
Securing Your Computer
If you have your own computer that no one else uses, enable full-disk encryption (BitLocker on Windows, FileVault on macOS). This protects your files if someone tries to access them without permission.
Be cautious of physical keyloggers — small devices that record keystrokes. These can be fitted between a keyboard and the computer. Check your cables and ports for anything unfamiliar.
If you can’t fully trust your computer, use library computers or a friend’s device for sensitive communication. Public libraries often provide free access to computers and printers, and staff may be able to assist discreetly.
Using Your Device with Caution
If your abuser isn’t especially tech-savvy, taking some straightforward precautions can help:
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Keep critical files on USB drives that you can hide securely.
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Use cloud storage with strong passwords and two-factor authentication.
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Open private browsing or incognito mode when online.
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Use a VPN to encrypt your internet traffic and hide your IP address.
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Avoid saving login details on shared devices.
Smart Devices and Cars
Smart home gadgets (like security cameras, voice assistants, or thermostats) can be turned into surveillance tools. Where possible, unplug or disable such devices, or use private areas without them.
Cars are increasingly “connected” too. Hidden trackers or linked apps can reveal your location. If you’re concerned, a trusted TSCM service provider will be able to check for vehicle-mounted surveillance devices. Alternatively, rely on public transport or cash-paid taxis to avoid leaving a traceable digital trail.
Securing Your Data and Important Files
Store Files Safely
If you have a trusted device, upload essential documents to secure cloud storage services like Google Drive, iCloud, or OneDrive. Use strong passwords that only you know.
Enable Two-Factor Authentication
This adds a layer of protection to your accounts by requiring a code or approval from your phone. Only set this up on a device you control, using your own recovery phone number or email — never one your abuser might access.
Hidden USB Drives
If you can’t safely use the cloud, use encrypted USB drives. Free tools such as VeraCrypt allow you to create hidden, password-protected areas so your files remain invisible even if someone finds the drive.
Scan and Back Up Important Documents
Keep digital copies of vital paperwork — passports, ID cards, bank statements, certificates, legal documents, and medical records. Store these scans securely, whether in encrypted cloud folders or hidden USB drives.
If you don’t have access to a scanner, many UK libraries and community centres provide photocopying facilities.
Manage Your Social Media Presence
Abusers often use social media to track movements or monitor connections.
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Review your privacy settings regularly.
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Disable location tagging.
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Avoid posting information that reveals where you are.
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Use pseudonyms if needed, but be aware that apps can still suggest your profile to known contacts via your phone number or email.
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Consider turning off “suggested friends” features on platforms such as Instagram or X (formerly Twitter).
Protecting Communications
Use Encrypted Messaging
Choose apps with end-to-end encryption, such as Signal, WhatsApp, or Telegram (Secret Chats). These services ensure that no one — not even the app provider — can read your messages. Enable disappearing messages for extra privacy.
Keep an Eye on Phone Metadata
Even if your messages are encrypted, your call history or billing data can still expose who you contact. The account holder (often the abuser) can access this information through the mobile provider.
If possible, obtain a prepaid SIM card, paid for in cash, for confidential communications. Keep it separate from your main phone.
Protect Your Email
Your email often acts as the gateway to all your other accounts. Enable two-factor authentication, ideally using an authenticator app rather than text messages. Check your account’s “recent activity” or “login history” for suspicious access.
Gmail and Outlook, for example, show the last login times and IP addresses. If anything looks off, change your password immediately and sign out of all devices.
Establishing Financial Independence
Financial abuse is a common tactic in controlling relationships. Ensuring you have access to your own money and accounts is an important safeguard.
Protect Your Bank Account
Keep your bank account solely in your name. Ask your bank to add a security note or “vulnerability flag” to alert staff to your situation, which may prevent unauthorised access. Avoid sharing PINs, passwords, or security questions.
If you cannot safely access online banking, visit a branch in person and request paper statements or restricted digital access.
Avoid Joint Accounts
Joint accounts allow both parties full visibility of spending. If you are being coerced into using one, discreetly discuss alternatives with your bank or a support organisation. It may be possible to open a separate account using a trusted friend’s address if needed.
Use Cash Where Possible
Cash leaves no digital footprint and can help maintain privacy. Keeping small amounts aside over time can build an emergency fund. Hide it securely and avoid telling anyone where it’s kept.
Alternative Assets
Physical gold, prepaid cards, or certain digital assets can also offer independence — but exercise caution. Cryptocurrencies, for example, can provide privacy but fluctuate greatly in value and require technical understanding.
Final Thoughts
Regaining digital control after experiencing coercive or technological abuse can feel daunting, but every step — from resetting a phone to changing passwords — is an act of empowerment.
You deserve safety, privacy, and autonomy — both offline and online.
For free, confidential support, contact:
National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge): 0808 2000 247
Women’s Aid Live Chat: chat.womensaid.org.uk
Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
Galop (LGBTQ+ support): 0800 999 5428
